I'm reading a book called The Art of Happiness. It is written by H.H. the Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler. I'm reading it because I think I need to create some new pathways in my brain to handle what my life is and what it will become. I really admire the Dalai Lama and how he thinks and how he handles his life. The book is good.
Then I started listening to all the background commentary in my head and realized how this book is starting to change the way I think already. The commentary goes like this... "I really like this book, it gives me a peaceful feeling.... it would be really cool to meet the Dalai Lama and be able to talk to him..... in the past I've been disappointed by people that I thought were really cool and then I met them and they were not so cool, or just boring, or really didn't know anything beyond what they were known for.... so maybe I wouldn't want to meet him because my hopes wouldn't be met and I would be left feeling disappointed.... you know, that isn't their fault really, it's my inflated expectations that do that, I expect a certain thing and they don't live up to it...."
The difference in that conversation rather than usual is the point where I realize it isn't the person letting me down, it's my own expectations. I'm hoping that this realization will eventually lead me to know which expectations are mine and not a fault of the person. Like everyone I just want some peace and happiness in my life. It's up to me and my state of mind to provide that.